Hot Tub Time Machine

I had very low expectations for this film and boy was I pleasantly surprised! What a crazy idea, four guys going back to the 1980s after an accidental mishap in the hot tub. And that's just the beginning! To give away the laughs in this movie would just be wrong because so many of the gags work because they take you by surprise. All I will say is that the jokes with animals are in my opinion the best. I will admit that several jokes with sexual humor went too far for me, but the jokes that did work were so pee-in-your-pants funny that I forgave these crude interludes. If you're looking for some solid belly laughs and know going in some parts might be a bit offensive, you'll be in for a hilarious surprise.

The Wolfman

When I saw the trailer for this film and the werewolf makeup on the poster, I was really excited to see this re-imagined classic horror tale. To be fair, the makeup and look of the picture is the best I have seen in a werewolf film. However, I was really let down by most everything else. Let's start with the acting. Anthony Hopkins is going through the motions in this movie. The other actors are okay, although I didn't sense a strong chemistry in the romance part of the story. The screenplay has some really laughable dialogue, with several of these howls (the wrong kind) being delivered by Hopkins himself. The pacing and the use of music and sound is also wrong. It begins way too fast, the werewolf attacks at super-powered speed and the sound and music tell us when to be scared rather than support the natural scares. The technology is also faulty, the obvious CGI werewolf running through the woods looks fake. I could go on, but you get the point. I'm sad that such excellent costumes, sets and makeup were placed in such a bad movie. An early candidate for my least favorite films of the year.

Hot Tub Time Machine or Jason drinks 12 Chernobyly and can see through time! (Though he can also see through time anytime he sits down to watch television, so maybe its not that big a deal.)

1. Did I enjoy the movie?     YES
I have to love a movie where a man says to a group of people, gathered in the back of a bar to watch him preform fellatio on his best friend after losing a bet on a football game because the squirrell he had puked on earlier disrupted the timestream, "Where do you people come from?"

2. Would I watch it again? YES
It's been almost two weeks since I've seen the film and I'm still talking about. This is going to be a cult film and I will need to work on memorizing the lines. I do wonder who I will be bonding with over quips from this film?

If I had a time machine would I go back to that sad glad rightside down time of my life that was nineteen. Being thirty-five, the obvious answer is no. No thank you! I am old enough to realize my youthfull dream to marry Corrine from Sleater-kinney would still not happen. Even with my older mature knowledge. (Knowing how to program an Ipod really won't help much here) I am wise enough to be okay with that. Time does that. Heals all wounds as our forefathers used to say.

And maybe the men in this movie did the same. They did not actually travel through time. Maybe these three men did not travel through time back to when they were eighteen, but merely entered their memories of being eighteen and came to grips with what happenned. In the Tarot, the symbol of the cups represents emotion and the memory.  Isn't a hot tub nothing but a giant cup. Introduce the power of will and intellect through the symbol of air: the lightning bolt on the Chernobyly, and BAM! Time-Travel! Back in the past, back inside their memories of the past, they find things are not as they remember. It's called maturation. It happens to everyone. Most memories when closely examined are not what we thought they were.  The schoolyard seems smaller then you remember. You have kids and understand why your parents did what they did. This is the mechanism of memory at work. You travel back to a past point of time. You inhabit the person you were but can't help but think like the person you are. You realize the past wasn't everything you thought it was. You come to accept that what you considered failures might actually be successes. You return from your memories. You now see what you thought was the life you ended up with is actually the life you have built. Empowered you make new choices, hopefully better choices. Or at least, that's what I try to do. How about you?

Mystery Team

Mystery Team is a fun film written and starring its three leads: D.C Pierson, Donald Glover and Dominic Dierkes. Its basic premise involves three kid detectives dedicated to solving child-sized mysteries. The kids are now teenagers and about to graduate high school. Is it time to finally put their childish mystery gang to rest? That question is more difficult than it initially appears when a little girl asks them to solve a grown up mystery: find out who killed her parents!

I enjoyed this film, its primary strength being its rapid gags and one-liners. For a movie made by young performers just breaking into the industry, this shows a lot of promise. I was also pleased to see Aubrey Plaza in this film, who I also liked in last year's Funny People.

The filmmakers also informed the audience I was with that they believe their debut feature film rises above their short films because it has good character development and an actual story rather than just being a series of gags. While there is evidence the writers desired to produce these things, I don't think that is why the film works. Like films such as Airplane! or even the Ernest P. Worrell movies, we don't go to see them for a breathtaking story and well-rounded characters. It's the gags, the funny parts, not the tacked-on message. While this was only a one-time viewing movie for me, what good fun that time was!

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel or Jason doesn't want all his money back, just some of it.

If you won't do it for the children, then do it for the parents that are dragged along.

Do what? Why develop the story fully so I can "enjoy" a movie with my son instead of "sit" through a movie with my son.

For example: Why did Alvin turn his back on his brothers. I could not tell you. Nor could my wife or anyone else I asked. The movie presents no basis for why Alvin, who is a world famous rock musician, is driven to win over the approval of some high school jocks. I am sure I could come up with any number of reasons on my own, but that is not my job. It is the filmmaker's. I feel sorry for kids nowadays if this is the state of children's filmmaking.

Why is it the criteria for good cinema seems to only apply to movies for grown-ups.  Plot, characterization, theme, and symbolism should be a criteria for ALL cinema regardless of the audience. Children are more creative and aware than people think. There is a complexity at work in children most people miss. Would Pixar have done as well as they have if children could only digest mindless or half-formed stories.

Even something as commercial and profit-driven as Alvin can have depth and resonance. Use the Chippettes memories of struggle to make it in their small town as a a foil for the Chipmunks. Place a few literary references in the back ground or on a chalkboard. Stop having Alvin just regurgitate random pop phrases. (That last one will most likely remain because little kids do talk like that.) Have Toby explain a plot for a video game that foreshadows the coming split between the brothers. Stuff like that.

Jason's Predictions for the Top Ten Box Office Grosses of 2010 or I am going to be so wrong.

1. Iron Man 2
2. Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
3. Shrek Forever After
4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
5. Toy Story 3
6. Twilight Saga: Eclipse
7. Get Him to the Greek
8. Inception
9. Love and Other Drugs
10. Yogi Bear

Bob's Predictions for the Top Ten Box Office Grosses of 2010

1. Iron Man 2
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
3. Toy Story 3
4. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
5. Due Date
6. Inception
7. The Green Hornet
8. Shrek Forever After
9. The Karate Kid
10. Yogi Bear

Worst Films of 2009

I often want to change this category to my least favorite films of 2009. The worst films I hopefully avoided, although sadly not all of them. While I thankfully avoided the second Twilight film, All About Steve and several others, here's a few that I unfortunately had the displeasure of viewing:

1. Bruno
By far the worst film of the year and second to only Silent Night Deadly Night as the worst film I have ever seen. I admit I sometimes laugh at sex jokes, but when they are so crude, right in your face and then mix in direct mocking of your Christian faith with oral sex jokes, that crosses a line that makes me plain angry. The director should be ashamed of himself, sometimes laughter is a bad thing when it's at the expense of something, or someone, you love.

2. Land of the Lost
A film with almost no laughs and some extremely bad taste sex jokes for the rating it received. Kids no doubt were in the audience when this film was in theaters. It's a bad influence on them and frankly such a dumb and unfunny story I wouldn't be surprised if customers created a large line for refunds.

3. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
This movie was such a bore I fell asleep on and off throughout the film. I was tired already, but a good film will not only keep me awake, it will re-energize the rest of my day. This did not, it was a sequel that was unnecessary and made way too much money at the box office.

4. In The Loop
Richard Roeper loved this movie. He must enjoy movies about people working in politics and journalism who yell at each other the entire time. Not my idea of a great comedy. Not worth your time.

5. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Another bad movie that did way too much box office business. The first Transformers worked, but this was a letdown. It was loud, overlong and had some incredibly annoying characters. And I wanted more Optimus Prime! Do I have to wait for Transformers 3? Should I bother?

6. Duplicity
Way too confusing of a movie for my taste. Big stars like Julia Roberts and Clive Owen can't save this material, which will take three or four viewings to make sense of it all. But who has that kind of time on their hands?

7. A Serious Man
The Coen Brothers certainly are unique with every film, but this one just didn't work for me. I didn't hate this film, but it was not one of my favorites.

8. The Proposal
Betty White has some genuinely funny moments in this movie, but the rest is way too formulaic and implausible. It's not cute and romantic to me if I don't believe it. And I didn't.

9. Drag Me to Hell
Sam Raimi has made some great films, and this one has some exciting crazy turns, but had an ending I was not satisfied with. My reaction was, "I endured all that and this was the payoff?!" Sometimes, a happy ending is warranted. I think it was here.

10. Friday The 13th
Another horror franchise given rebirth through a remake. This adds nothing that you haven't seen before. Not awful if that's what you want. Just not scary when it could have been.

The Best and Worst movies of 2009 or Jason realizes the extent of his inarticulation.

Best of 2009
1. Up In The Air
2. The Fantastic Mr. Fox
3. Up and The Hurt Locker (a tie)
4. Star Trek
5. District 9
6. Ponyo
7. Where The Wild Things Are
8. Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
9. Taken
10. Zombieland

Worst of 2009
1.Dragonball: Evolution
2. Avatar
3. Watchmen
4. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
5. My Bloody Velentine 3-D
6. Race To Witch Mountain
7. Fast and Furious
8. Ice Age 3
9. Hotel For Dogs
10. The Time Traveller's Wife

Jason's 10 in 10 or the Ten films I am anticipating in 2010.

(In alphabetical order)
1. Green Hornet
2. Hot Tub Time Machine
3. Inception
4. Iron Man 2
5. The Good, The Bad, And The Weird
6. Kick-Ass
7. The Last Airbender
8. The Other Guys
9. Toy Story 3
10. Waking Sleeping Beauty

Avatar or Jason goes to watch Avatar, says fuck it, and sneaks into Sherlock Holmes.

I tried to sit through Avatar. I really did. But I just couldn't do it. Large soda and large popcorn in hand, I walked out. A smile broke over my face as the door to that auditorium closed behind me. As I nervously scanned for any ushers when I snuck into Sherlock Holmes, I joined the "Yeah But" crowd.

"Yeah the special effects were good but the story...well that's another story."

What really bugged me, to the point where I could no longer suspend disbelief, was there was no point to making the movie. I am not saying the story had no point. It follows the monomyth: hero is given a task, ventures to a strange land, engages in conflict, and emerges with what he was missing. There was no reason for the filmmakers to make this specific story. James Cameron spent over ten years and three billion dollars to make Avatar. Ten years and three billion dollars to essentially remake Dances with Wolves. It is the exact same story of the lost man discovering himself when he joins the indigeous or aboriginal people. Didn't anyone notice this. They had ten years.

As I exited the theater I overheard a grandmother and her ten year old grandson talking.
"Have you seen Avatar," the grandma asks.
"Yeah. IT WAS AMAZING," he exclaimed.
Maybe Avatar is beyond me. I might finally be "too old" to get it. Avatar is this nascent generation's Star Wars. A film that inspires less from the message the hero learns but more from the filmmaker making a world people want to live in.

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